"Money For Nothing" Is Gone, The Dixie Chicks Are Next!

Along with Bruce Springsteen's "Born In The USA", one of the top selling albums of my high school career was "Brothers In Arms" from Dire Straits. In fact the song Money For Nothing on that album was one of the videos that was a catalyst in making MTV the giant that it is today. (Although by today's standards, the video can be compared to a monkey picking his nose or better yet, or Wisconsin democrats hiding out in neighbouring states.)
Imagine how heartbroken I was to hear that the CRTC (which stands for Constantly Restricting Those Canadians) has banned Money For Nothing, thus robbing me of the joy of listening to the song on the radio and reliving the glory days of high school? You remember high school...getting stuffed in lockers, being laughed at for singing and dancing like Boy George...ahh, high school was the best seven years of my life.

ONE word keeps this song off the radio, a word that someone in Newfoundland, or maybe it was Labrador, called in and thought someone of a homosexual orientation may take offense to this word. Now, I am not in any way speaking for or against this word  (if you feel you must email me with a compliant over this, well I can be reached at Barack.Obama@OvalOffice.gov )...I am just saying that if we are taking possible hurtful songs off the airwaves, then I am about to take offense at a long list of songs.

How about The Bangles Walk Like An Egyptian? Do those folks of Egyptian heritage take offense at the Bangles mocking their ability to walk? Ah the questions that plague humanity. To be frank, this dilemma kept me up at night so I called my friend who lives in Illinois (yes, the very one who immigrated from Egypt.) I asked him if he took exception to this song, and if so, should it be forever removed from radio play lists? After much pondering, he replied that he in no way, shape or form was offended by this song. What if he were restricted to a wheelchair, I asked? Without hesitation, he said he would be deeply hurt and desires The Bangles and the radio DJ to be entombed in the closest pyramid. I THOUGHT SO!

Next on my offensive list of songs, Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks. Now I'm not hurt by this song because I am one to protect wife-beaters (my personal opinion is that wife-beaters need to go one-on-one with Chuck Liddell...for eternity) but because my middle name is EARL! That's right and to be associated with a wife-beater...well lets just say I would rather be called a liberal (on either side of the border.) And I will call the next country music radio station and complain the next time I hear this song...of course that is assuming some Nazi kidnaps me, locks me in a room and constantly plays country music, causing me to wish for a fast death.

My hope is that once I lodge a complaint with the CRTC regarding Goodbye Earl, that the good folks on this team will not only ban the song and the Dixie Chicks, but in fact ban the country music industry. Ahhh, dare to dream!